Who actually knows what to do when your husband cheats? Is there really a right or wrong answer? After an affair, you are reeling from the emotional upheaval of your husband's betrayal. Your world has been shattered and you feel physically ill from it. What do you do first to pick up the pieces?
Perhaps you have a family to consider and children that could have been impacted by your husband's actions. Your marriage is currently in shreds. Your husband's infidelity could also affect your job because it's so hard to focus on anything else except your overwhelming pain.
But you have two choices: let hisair break you or come out a better, stronger person. The choice is yours. This article will show you how to focus on yourself so that you can get on the path to a healthy rediscovery.
You Can Evolve Out of the Pain of His Affair
And your thinking … "No I can not!". When you found out, your life seemed to stop and your pain became all that you knew. But life does go on. Bills did not stop coming in and your kids still had baseball practice.
You feel like your world is held together by string. Nothing is the same, yet you're still expected to take care of the kids, do your job and make your car payment on time. And you do not even know if you want to be married to your husband anymore!
Step # 1 – Improve Your Damaged Self-Esteem
Your husband's affair has impacted you in ways you never imagined. One of the biggest impacts is the hit your self-confidence has taken. You are filled with self-doubt and you keep wondering why? Is it somehow your fault? Maybe you're just not good enough?
You have to manage these negative thoughts before you can ever move forward. It's like a bad movie is playing in your head 24/7. Self-destructive thoughts are filling your head, yet you can not seem to stop it. Start writing down these negative thoughts and a pattern will emerge. Then make a counter argument that boosts your self-esteem by focusing on your good qualities.
This may seem like psycho-babble, but it really does work.
Step # 2 – Start a Journal
Keeping a journal helps you to have an outlet for the whirlwind thoughts going on in your mind. You can write down happy memories and how you've grown stronger dealing with the curveballs that life has sent you. What you're dealing with now and how you're working to get through it. You can write down your hopes and dreams and what you envision your future to be.
This is a safe place for you to get out your feelings and start to see any new possibilities; even when you think you do not have any happy future to look forward to.
Step # 3 – Take Action Today
Yes you're a strong person, but you will not miraculously heal overnight. It takes time and effort. You know what kind of person you want to be. Maybe you want to go back to college to finish your degree? Maybe you want to lose weight or get in shape? Maybe you want to learn something new like sailing, baking or gardening?
Take action to get your life where you want it to be. It will not get there by itself! You have to make it happen!
Create a Better You Outside of You Marriage
Knowing what to do when your husband cheats is obviously a question you never wanted to ask yourself. You could have put a label on yourself and feel that you are only "John's wife" or "Sarah's mother". But that is not you. You are your own person and you define who you are, not the circumstances in your life.
Do not label yourself the "wife that got cheated on"!